I mulled over this suggestion for several months. Having myself retired from full time work about 10 years back and having just celebrated my 71 birthday, I thought that at least some people might be interested in what I have to say and, in particular, about the things I did right and what I would do differently if I had the chance.
I need to say upfront that mine is a biased view — that of a very lucky person. I have been lucky to good genes that kept at bay ailments such as cancer, dementia, arthritis, high blood pressure and diabetes. I am also lucky not to have had any bad accidents or falls; and, above all, lucky to have friends and family that gave meaning to my life.
Having said that, here are seven lessons I learnt from my ten years of retired life.
The first thing is to decide is whether your disengagement from work would be a radical one or not. Would you like to spend the bulk of your time doing things you always wanted to do but never had time for — things like looking after the garden, spending time with children and grandchildren, cataloging your stamp collection or travelling around the world? Or, are you the kind of person who would like to remain engaged, and continue to contribute in the areas where you have acquired knowledge and skills? If you, like me, choose to continue to work, make this decision quite explicit to those around you. Make it clear that although you are no longer going to the office or the factory or to the law courts, you will be nevertheless busy for much of the time and cannot be called upon at any time for any task.
The second thing is to focus on activities that build self-esteem. Self-esteem comes relatively easily when one has, as I did, an office, a secretary, a team of people to work under me, and a regular income. However, it is more difficult when these accoutrements of power and status are not there. While friends and family can play a role, for a person who has worked most of the time, work is essential. This could be paid work but I also gained tremendous satisfaction from volunteer activities and social work. Some of the things that gave me the greatest pleasure were lecturing and teaching. I gave talks at schools and universities and even spent several months teaching prison inmates.
The third thing is to have as much interaction as possible with others, especially with younger people — but also put aside time to be alone. I have been blessed with several grandchildren, with hopefully more on the way. Time spent with them is like a tonic. Through the good aegis of my old universities, I am also a coach and mentor to several recent graduates. I have also found great pleasure talking with my class fellows from my university or my school in Karachi. It is with such old friends that you can fully share your biggest problems and your deepest doubts and insecurities. However, I sometimes also need to be by myself and have taken a week to ten days to travel around alone.
The fourth advice is to do things that stretch your mind. This could be to learn a new language, do puzzles and quizzes, or play games such as chess or bridge. In my case, I was lucky that post-retirement I was involved in several complex assignments that required reading vast amounts of documents, analysing lots of numbers, and preparing presentations. But equally useful is to study a topic that one knows little about. A good rule of thumb to assess if a book or article is mind-stretching is that you should fail to fully understand it on a first reading and you need to go back with a pen and a notebook in hand.
The fifth thing is to keep physically active. There are many formulae to do this, ranging from doing 10 thousands steps each day, to Pilates or Tai Chi 3-4 times per week. But whatever you chose, go easy — your body is not what it used to be. My preferred activity is running. I have done eight full marathons (42.195 km) and more than 50 half marathons, 10 km and 5 km races. But my foolish insistence on maintaining my training regime, despite the passing years, has resulted in three surgeries on my knee and one for a hernia.
The sixth thing is to keep away as much as possible from TV and social media. Recent studies have shown an alarming rise in the use of electronic devices, particularly smartphones, among older people. And, as there is usually no one to tell you to put away you smart phone and do something useful, this can quickly become a monster that takes up large chunks of your day. It is a sure road to isolation and depression. My rules in this regard are: no TV except for some news shows and no smartphone when I am out for exercise, when I am with friends, at the dining table and in bed.
The seventh and last lesson is to do some good financial planning. None of us want to be a burden on children and this requires two things — the first is to assess what are likely future expenditures, including possible medical expenses. The second it to take a view about how long you think you will live. It may sound brutal but the latter is essential in order to adequately quantify needs. My father lived until the age of 89 in reasonably good health. For planning purposes, I have therefore given myself 20 more years. Me and my wife have also made our wills and deposited it with the lawyers. We have left what we could for the children but have kept aside what we think we will need for ourselves.
Wishing all those who read this good luck and good health!